How many times, YiLi?

YiLi is and always has been doing marvelously well since the moment we met one month and a day ago. But . . . she doesn't like to hug and most definitely does not want to be kissed. We all know that is not unusual at this stage of just being home, right?

So we are working into it with a few stiff little hugs and such.

YiLi and I have built up this little tradition already. When I tuck her into her bed at night, I tuck the softest blanket of them all right up around her little chin, very carefully so that she knows it's important to me that she be warm and toasty, and then I ask the question: "How many times shall I kiss your head goodnight, YiLi?" We have made it a game. She never answers, so every night I decide on a number and then I kiss her head that many times. I started low. Last night was twelve, and she gave me the tiniest giggle. Tonight I asked, as usual, "How many times shall I kiss your head goodnight, YiLi?" Only tonight, she said "Hmmmm . . . (with that little smirk of hers), and THEN SHE SAID: "Five!"

Blesses this mama's heart, that's for sure!

Goodnight everyone . . .

To China and back plus a month

So much time has passed, so many life events, I am just asking God to help me as I write this post to bring you all up to date. I could not seem to come here before now, so here goes . . . joy and sorrow, endings and beginnings, thankfulness all the same because God knows what is best and works all things for good for us because we do love Him and we have been called according to His purpose.

We met YiLi in Jinan, the provincial capital of Shandong, China on Sunday, November 27. On to Qingdao the next day by bullet train and then we flew to Guangzhou on Tuesday night . We met Gan the next morning at the Civil Affairs office.

Gan asked to go back to her orphanage after a day and a night. She suffered greatly, and I do not think, even after being prepared, that she truly understood what adoption meant until she was face to face with it. We were told that it was not personally about us. I truly have come to believe that there are a few children who would rather stay in China no matter what their future life will be like, and Gan was one of them. I did not want to believe that until another mother went over to meet her daughter from the same orphanage and checked in on Gan for us. She told us that Gan was resolved to stay in China, that she would have refused any family, that the director had cried many a tear over her decision. So for a reason that only God knows, Gan did not come home with us.

My sister Leslie had sent porcelain Christmas ornaments shaped like Chinese dolls, lanterns, and pandas for each of my three girls. As I wrapped a box for each girl in the upstairs bedroom, I had my private grieving session for Gan, and laid a dream to rest. I do know that God brought Gan into our lives for a purpose though, so we wait to know that purpose. We are hoping that if Gan knows we are not trying to convince her to come with us, that she and her orphanage will allow us to sponsor her as she gets older. Maybe we can make her life a bit easier.

YiLi is a joy. She has the most endearing personality. She has been with us for one month now, and we can hardly remember life without her. Rick and I are feeling younger by the minute, laughing, skipping, playing, learning, seeing life anew from a child's viewpoint. I think I will let the pictures say the rest:

My artist daughter

According to Brittany, this is what I used to look like! Now she is an art major at Edinboro University, which is about 45 minutes from our home. I haven't changed a bit . . .

Overcome with nostalgia today!

As much as we are all looking forward to our new life with three daughters, this morning I cannot help but reminisce back over the wonderful years with my beloved first daughter Brittany Kathleen, for a long time thought to be my only child! As I was cleaning ('fess up, you know you know you all "nest" right before you leave for China!), I came upon these photos from past years. They speak volumes about that unspeakably wonderful mother/daughter relationship . No more words needed, except to say that I will cherish these, even as I look forward to future pictures of my new daughters and I. I can only hope that in time we will have a relationship akin to that Brittany and I share!

Here we come, girls!

How exciting to share our itinerary with you! It is a very busy one, with not a lot of idle time, lots of travel within China, so please keep us in your prayers. At the end of this post, I will give you a list of prayer concerns. Maybe one or two will tug at your heart throughout your days and you will lift us up!

11/24 Thanksgiving afternoon - leave by car for D.C. with our niece
11/25 12:30 P.M. Direct flight to Beijing!
11/25 10:30 P.M. Fly to Jinan (capital of Yi Li's province)
11/27 Meet and take custody of YiLi at the Civil Affairs Office (afternoon)
11/28 Return to that same office to finalize YiLi's adoption paperwork
11/28 Travel to Qingdao (YiLi's orphanage city, she lives out in the
country in a foster home
11/29 Apply for YiLi's Chinese passport
11/29 4:30 P.M. Fly to Guangzhou
11/30 Meet and take custody of Gan at the Civil Affairs Office
12/1 Return to that same office to finalize Gan's adotion paperwork
12/2 Apply for Gan's Chinese passport
12/3 Visa medical examination for both children, including TB
12/4 Sightseeing (Safari Park)
12/5 Return to medical clinic for TB results and prepare with guide for
our adoption interview
12/6 10:00 A.M. Visa interview and oath ceremony at US Consulate
12/7 Pick up children's visas in the adternoon
12/8 Very very early take a can to Hong Kong airport
12/8 10:30 A.M. Fly home via Tokyo
12/8 - 12/? Stay with Lisa in VA until we recover from jetlag! Meet her
Chinese student Sara who came home 2 years ago. The girls can talk
to her and she will be able to explain a lot and comfort them!

Just some musings and some prayer requests:

We wish we could have toured. It just didn't work out. We feel it might not have been in the girls' best interest. I am particularly disappointed that we won't get to spend more time in Qingdao, for many reasons. I wish we could meet YiLi's foster family (almost never permitted). I wish we could visit her orphanage (2 1/2 hour ride into country, might be possible, depends on how YiLi is doing), and the city itself is said to be one of the most beautiful in all of China. Rick and I had decided that we would be very satisfied spending some time there rather than Beijing. But since the government requires all adoptions to happen in the provincial capital, along with the trip planning being done by the agency rapidly, it just could not be worked out.

I feel that we will get to tour Gan's orphanage because we will be spending the rest of our time in her province. Generally, kids benefit from getting to go back and say goodbye, as well as seeing that the people they care about are in total support of the adoption. It is difficult, but many times at this point they are able to go forward emotionally. Again, we will see how Gan feels about going back. If she is struggling, one of us will stay with her and the other will visit the orphanage.

Prayer requests:
1. Physical endurance for the journey - it looks busy!
2. Courage and comfort for our girls - such a big step for them!
3. Specifically pray that YiLi is not brought to us early. Many times when
parents arrive at the hotel, the child is there in the lobby already. We
will have been up straight for 23 hours at that point. It will be 11:40
P.M. China time but it will feel like 11:40 A.M. of the next day after
we travelled for us. They say adrenaline will carry us through!
4. Those first few moments, the "Gotcha" moments, to be sweet ones
5. Pray for all of our reading and training to come to the forefront when we
need it. Pray for God's wisdom in the little responses and the big ones.
Pray for the knitting together of our family to begin!
6. Pray for neither of us to take rejection personally if it happens
(usually a child is so overwhelmed they can only "bond" with one
parent at first and the other is "refected" temporarily. we understand
logically, but it's hard on the heart!
7. Pray for us to find ways to communicate the necessities.
8. Pray for my wrist to hold up under all the luggage lugging!

I am sure I am leaving lots out - ask God to show you what you should pray for in our regard! We are counting on these prayers being lifted! Thank you, God, for entrusting these treasures to us on this earth. We pray in the name of Jesus that you will keep us close to you, that we will look to You for counsel, that we will keep our minds and heart stayed on You only, that the enemy will be powerless, that the hearts of our precious children will be soft and open to the love of earthly parents and a heavenly Father! We pray for safe travels and good connections, guides that we have a rapport with, and that we would get to visit both orphanages. I even pray, Lord, that we would be able to meet the "mama and baba" that mean so much to YiLi, even though it is said to be impossible. Nothing is impossible in Your Name! Amen.

Lambie hats and the love of the Shepherd

After my first post I promised to tell you about a very special hat. It's a long story though!

When we saw YiLi's video, way back almost one year ago, reps from our agency were there videotaping her being interviewed so that the video could be shown to families like us who showed interest in possibly adopting her. We saw her teensy picture on an adoption advocacy site called Rainbow Kids (check it out). We immediately contacted WACAP and requested her file. Well, Seattle received so much snow that they had to dig themselves out, and it was two weeks before we received the video!

In her video she sings a song. She starts on too high of a pitch, but this girl never gives up! She finished her song gloriously!

YiLi explained, through a translator, that she lives with her "mama" , "baba", and grandmothers on both sides - no other foster children. She obviously loves them dearly, and is too young to understand that she could not live with them past the age of 14 within the foster care system, atleast. And very few families would be able to afford or would be willing to keep a foster child without being recompensed by the government. Please pray for YiLi as she works through her grief when she comes home to us.

She wants to own a grocery store when she grows up so that she can have all the food she wants and so that she can share it with all her friends. Even this is unusual. Many orphans cannot give an answer when asked what they want to be "when they grow up" because they cannot imagine the future at all.

When asked her favorite toy, she almost could not think of an answer. When she finally did, she gave this little sideways grim toward her nanny as if they shared this funny little secret, and then said "toy gun".

Her favorite animal? Little sheep . . . why . . . because they eat grass. Now it very well may be that a lamb is not her favorite animal at all. Maybe it's all she could think of in the stress of the moment. But it got me to thinking about how we are all just little lambs . . . and how we are all adopted . . . and how we can tell YiLi about a loving Shepherd who doesn't rest until all His sheep are safe in the fold. When He calls her name, I hope with my whole heart that she knows the Shepherd's voice and follows him!

OK, almost done! Here's the connection. A young mom at my church makes these hats on demand in the shape of different animals. So I asked her to come up with a lambie hat, to use her own creativity, which she has a LOT of, to create a hat for YiLi to wear. It went from there to her making a dozen or so hats for us to leave at YiLi's orphanage! God must have known that we would be headed there right at the onset of a very cold winter, to the north of China! Thank you, Nicole, for your ministry of hats! So much love went into these hats, and we can't wait to take them with us. Here's Lambie Hat!